Search the entire CDF Archives of Wisdom by title or visit the Archive of Wisdom itself. Or follow the link at the top to go somewhere else. Whatever you do, be grateful and compliant.


Carson Daly is an Idiot

Yes, the results are back from the latest CDF genetics test and it is official: Carson Daly is "genetically" an idiot. Can someone explain to us here at CDF how this moron even got a job, let alone the job at MTV. Granted, MTV is a world apart, full of the dregs of society, but even they have their standards. Or do they. You know what, it just occurred to me that the people running MTV must be as stupid as the people watching MTV. (Excepting, of course, those watching out of scientific curiosity like the fine folks at the CDF genetics laboratory in Virginia.) Some of you might be wondering why a major company like CDF would devote any space at all to this subject, let alone our most valuable web real estate. The answer is simple: we are CDF, we serve El Presidente, El Presidente hates Carson Daly.
Further evidence of Carson's superior intellect, this quote about his mother on Mother's Day:

"It's my turn to give a special mother's day message to my mom, one of the greatest women who ever stepped foot on the planet Earth, and I wish I could say something bad about her, but that would be impossible. So, Mom, if you're there, I hope you had the greatest Mother's Day ever. I love you very much, and, even though people think you're my sister, I can get beyond that. Happy Mother's Day"

Why would you wish to say something bad about your mother? Idiot. And what's up with the "if you're there"? Is she dead and he doesn't know it? Is he covering himself in case she is dead? And please, Carson, the line about your mom being your sister is amazingly idiotic. Unless you are from Manassas and that is the truth. It can happen in Manassas. Perhaps that is what he meant by "I can get beyond that", or maybe, just maybe we have an Oedipus complex going here. We sure do hate Carson here at CDF.
To be fair - because we are all about being fair at CDF - we used to include a link to a wonderfully informative site about the aforementioned idiot. We will refrain from pointing out that the creators of the "Approved Carson Daly Site" are high-school girls from the Manassas Virginia area. We know where that is; we have been through that city and found it to be rich in historic interest. It is also rich in village idiots. A bit too rich in village idiots for El Presidente's taste which is why a THUK representative will be paying a visit in the very near future. The site is now dead, all because of us. We think.

 

 
©2007 CDF, Inc.